| Getting
Swami Tejomayananda to talk on Gurudev was quite tough. He kept
on saying that he had nothing new to say on Gurudev. "I
have already said whatever I wanted to, last time," Swamiji
said. I tried again. "Swamiji, let me, at least, ask the
questions. This time they are different, so your answers will
automatically be different."
He
kept dodging. Looking at Sakshi, a two year old baby, he said,
"She is distracting me. She is looking at me and that
is distracting me." I
replied, "Swamiji, she is merely a Sakshi - an observer.
"
But
Swamiji, still at his evasive best, retorted, "You know,
there Is someone who just by BEING can be so distracting.
He doesn't need to do anything. Just BE and that distracts
you."
I
caught this line and twisted it back. "Swamiji, exactly
this sort of feeling must have happened to you with regard
to Gurudev who just by BEING could be so ATTRACTING. "
With that, the key shot home and the door unlocked. Swami
Tejomayananda unfolded........ Love cascading from his heart
in an unbroken stream of thoughts towards his reverential
lips...,.....A well hidden tear peeped out of the curtains
of his eyelids and danced in an ecstatic revelry at the rememberance
of the Great Master.
"How
can I say what is best about Gurudev? His presence was most
appealing. His presence spoke more than his words and taught
more than his lectures. I see his presence in his pictures
also. Just to be with him was a great joy and an experience
in itself. I specially used to love to dine with him and I
had plenty of such chances. Because he used to be relaxed
at that time, he made fun of all those who were working. Once,
we were invited to have Bhiksha at a Rajasthani house. They
were making idlis for Gurudev. But they didn't know how to
make them. Somehow or the other, they made the idlis which
were looking quite strange. When Gurudev saw the final product,
he looked at me and remarked, "See, the cartoon of idii
is coming."
Gurudev's
greatness went beyond his presence and he showed it in every
little thing. In big things everybody shows off. But Gurudev
showed it even in small things, e.g. When I was studying Vedanta
here at Sandeepany, Bombay, I used to teach Sanskrit also
to the Brahmacharis and Brahmacharinis. There was a small
hall where I used to hold the class. Once, Swamiji was here
and he wanted to discuss something with a group of people.
He just arrived here and saw that I was teaching. He could
have asked me to finish the class. But he humbly requested,
"May I use the hall for sometime?" That is his greatness.
He did not say get out, let me use this place.
I
also had the great fortune of learning from him. Many a time,
he would take me along with himself to Uttarkashi. At that
time, there was no regular Vedanta training course, so Gurudev
used to take the classes on the Vivekachoodamani and the Geeta.
While other Mission members would come off and on, I was nearly
permanent and I used to sit right in the front. Actually,
I felt that Gurudev used to teach me alone. Every now and
then, he would ask questions and, if out of ten questions
I didn't answer even one or didn't answer quickly enough,
he would say that you don't know the answer or that you were
sleeping during the class. Or, sometimes, he would speak and
leave the sentence half-way and leave me to complete it. And
if I spoke softly Gurudev would ask me to go out on the banks
of the Ganga and speak so loudly that the man on the other
side could hear me.
Discipline
was one thing which Gurudev loved. Not only was he himself
a very disciplined person but he also enforced it. The beauty
of his discipline was that it was not dry and harsh but accompanied
with compassion. For instance, once, during a Geeta Gnana
Yagna, all the Brahmacharis were not present for the meditation
class. That day he ordered, "Brahmacharis will not be
served lunch today. But, at tea time, we were given special
upma along with the tea. Otherwise, we would get only tea.
Thus, he punctuated discipline with compassion.
Gurudev's
whole vision for the Mission was essentially two-fold. One,
External i.e. activities - wise or project - wise and the
other, Internal, viz. the unfoidment of the personalities
of the members while undertaking those projects. So, as far
as the outer activities started by Gurudev are concerned,
they have expanded, grown and benefitted the society. Unfoidment,
by itself, is subjective and each worker will have to honestly
and sincerely evaluate himself or herself. But the very fact
that thousands of people have been working for such a long
period of time shows that they have been getting something
or else they wouldn't work. So, we have succeeded to a great
extent.
Really
speaking, there is no final goal.
Outwardly,
the sky is the limit. Inwardly also, one can improve. There
is no room for complacence. There is more room for expansion
outside and refinement inside. Thus, there is no full stop.
Even in our Guru Dakshina - our Offering unto him - there
is no questioin of fulfillment. Whatever you do is little.
It is not even equal to what the Great Master has done. So,
never can our Guru Dakshina be enough. Supposing we say that
we have finished, then what will we do? So we keep on GIVING
only.
And
in the performance of our daily activities, I can only quote
the words of Krishna in the Bhagavad Geeta, "Remember
Me and do your duty !"
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