I have heard some say that CHYK camp can be a life-changing experience, but can this really be true? Yes, CHYK camp is always a very special time of learning, reflection, enjoyment and sharing. Sure, we always leave CHYK camp that little bit more dedicated to self-improvement than when we arrived. Fine, we see new ways of looking at things which challenge us, and we witness certain changes in our dealings with others, particularly while at camp. But "life-changing"? Really?

Just before this year's CHYK camp, there were times when I would feel deep conflict and disillusionment. I have been attending camps, talks and study classes for quite some time now, and I sometimes feel disappointed with my spiritual progress. I regularly listen to the wonderful teachings of our Masters, I understand them, and I feel so confident that I will apply them in every moment of every day, but this never lasts. I set personal goals for myself, based on what I have learned and understood, yet I often find myself repeating previous mistakes; going against my better judgment, so to speak.

CHYK Camp 2005 came at just the right time for me, and like so many others, I too felt that Swami Chidatmananda was talking directly to me! Never before have I attended a camp where the talks have been so mind-blowing! Swamiji put it all so simply. In one of his talks he said, "We create the duality, and we create the misery and then we ask Why Do We Suffer?" The talks were so uplifting that at times we just couldn't help ourselves and the entire hall exploded into applause! At other times we laughed heartily at Swamiji's jokes and examples, and there were even moments when we were moved to tears.

For me, one of these moments was when Swamiji mentioned the fleeting nature of our thoughts. That they appear, remain for a while, and then disappear, just like the rise and fall of waves. There is movement in waves, yet the ocean is still. I, as the ocean, am simply observing the movement of the waves (my thoughts). Swamiji pointed out that the ocean never gets identified with a certain wave, and neither do the waves ever feel that they are superior or inferior to one another! The waves and the ocean are One. The Satguru is the ocean. Pujya Gurudev, Swami Chinmayananda would say, "They are in me." The waves may disappear in the ocean, but the ocean never disappears. It is always present, always protective. This is one of the most direct and special lessons that I have ever learned.

Pulling myself away from the recollection of Swamiji's beautiful words for a moment, I find it necessary to mention some warm memories which made CHYK Camp 2005 so unique. These include… Brahmacharini Sumatiji's talks on Mastering the Mind and her wonderful Hari Katha to celebrate Janamashtami… Darpan's heart-warming music… the 'Way of the Spiritual Warrior' play… Swamiji's games - "but I'm not supposed to smile"!... early morning Tai Chi… the Mafia sessions!... the International 'contributions' at the campfire… the role-plays… the toilet roll-mummy ice-breaker…and so much more!

Each one of these memories shines in the light of Swamiji's teachings. The classes put a seal of beauty on every experience. Every word was relevant. Another favourite class of mine was the one in which Swamiji told us to simply participate and observe. Be like a mountain - whether lightening strikes, the wind blows, rocks fall, rain comes - it just participates. There is beauty in surrendering; in having no choices, preferences, insistences. Swamiji said, "Accept everything. See the importance of everything. Participate."

At camp itself, I allowed myself to do this and felt an immense source of strength, power and stillness within me. I know that other participants (pun unintended!) experienced this too. This camp didn't change my life. I don't think that a camp can change the quality of life. But camps like these do provide us with the tools which allow us to change the quality of our thoughts. As Swamiji said, we can change our "point of observation."

The conflict and disillusionment are gone. I feel refreshed. Will this last? I don't know, but I know that I won't be insistent on it lasting! I want to participate; to enjoy the ride! To accept the movement of the waves, but feel the stillness of the ever-present Ocean.

Hari Om!
Trishna Gulrajani