1. It is through relationships that we learn to express and receive love, we learn to forgive, help, serve and evolve.
2. When we recognize that our feelings are coming from our own habits, likes, dislikes, impressions, standards, judgments, opinions, attachments, expectations and not from others behaviour, then we are on the path of Learning.
3. We want others to fill our inner emptiness and take away our inner loneliness.
4. We should not hand over the responsibility of our worthiness and wellbeing into the hands of the other.
5. When the other gets angry, withdraws, gives attention to someone else, does not tell the truth, does not stand up for us, misunderstands, goes around with others and ignores us, we feel abandoned and suffer intense pain. And we want the other person to take away the pain by changing his/her behaviour. This dependency is not good for us.
6. Drainers are utterly self- centred people, needing excessive attention, admiration, approval and love… etc. they try to control others through angry, blame, violence, criticism, irritation, incessant talking, invasive expressions and emotional drama.
7. Drainers are afraid of being controlled so they resist doing when someone else wants them to do something. They resist with denial, defending, delaying, rebellion, indifference, irresponsible behaviour, rigidity, deadness, withdrawal and pretend incapability.
8. Self-strainers sacrifice their wants and needs for the sake of others. They act from fear of losing other’s and other’s love. Both Drainers and Self strainers do not take proper care of themselves so they end up feeling angry, resentful, trapped, unloved, misunderstood…….etc.
9. If you don’t judge yourself and allow others to judge you, you will not become frustrated or angry.
10. Let us learn to love and forgive others. Let us go deep into ourselves and contact the true source of love, which is DIVINITY. It is an infinite source of pure love. Thereafter we will not feel unloved due to any reason what so ever.
11. When our hearts flow with love to the other, we are in the process of liberation from our Karmic Debts.
12. Kind words, caring actions, sweet gestures, compassionate attitude, helping hand, shared joy transforms us.
13. Our love should be free from attachment, expectation, opinion and insistence for results.
14. Relationships test our progress. Relationships test us by evoking our emotions and see whether we react violently or respond lovingly.
15. We have to practice loving awareness and detached kindness. We can add humour to our life, humour decreases conflict, increases health, satisfaction, life span and levels of consciousness.
16. My need to be special, to be loved could only truly met at a spiritual level from deep within myself, from divinity within. Others can only help but never satisfy totally.
17. We can learn to make ourselves happy regardless of what the other person is doing. We can learn, not to get triggered by the behaviour of the others.
18. If we can leave the relationship with love, empathy, compassion, without any thoughts of revenge, hatred, or fear, that is how we leave, let go completely for ever.
19. Action that fosters, nourishes, love, mercy, wisdom, justice, godly attributes and spiritual qualities is Right Action.
20. Through understanding, forgiveness, patience, awareness and non-violence we can change ourselves.
21. The ultimate purpose of any relationship is spiritual development.
22. We choose our circumstances; we plan our lives before we are conceived. Our planning is aided by Gurus, Mahatmas, Celestial beings- Devas.
23. Heaven and Hell are like universities. We are made to feel the feelings and emotions of the people whom we have helped, hurt, wounded, loved, hated or affected positively and negatively. We are made to understand about our gifts to others. So that we can learn and evolve.
24. At the time of death there is a replay, review of all major things of our life so that we recognize our mistakes and learn not to repeat them.
25. Real security comes from the knowledge that we are immortal, eternal and we can never be harmed.
26. Seeing a person, situation, and an experience from a distance with detached mind is Patience. It gives understanding.
27. To be in some else’s place and to see through their eyes and feel their feelings is Empathy.
28. To focus our mind with concentration on a specific idea, concept, subject object thought is Contemplation.
29. Learning how to be comfortable with uncertainty is Maturity.
30. One’s position in this world is the direct consequence of one’s own choices and decisions.